Monday, December 17, 2012

Postcards from Pokéarth

Img sources: kristinasafariRtRadke

My first stop on my trip around the world was to the Fuchsia City Safari Zone. I went to the zoo outside the Safari Zone as a kid once, but this was my first time in the Safari Zone itself. It would be an understatement to say that I don't recommend it. The promise of being able to catch rare pokemon may be alluring, but if you read the fine print you'll see that you can't use any of your own pokemon. Instead, you're encouraged to toss bait to the dangerous wild pokemon and then throw rocks at them. When I finally gave in and tried, it was mere minutes before I was running for the exit with a charging tauros behind me. To make matters worse, I couldn't understand a word the warden was saying as he guided us on the safari. If you come here, stick to the zoo.

Img Source: zeemp

Ever since I watched "Vermilion Jones" I've wanted to visit an archaeological dig. It turns out that there's one ongoing in the Johto region at the place known as the "Ruins of Alph". Much of the research there appears to be concerning the ancient language written on the walls of the ruins. I consider myself to be pretty smart, but I couldn't make heads or tails of it. It didn't help that whenever I was in the ruins I was struck with this uneasy feeling and a nauseating headache. I'm sure I was just imagining it, but I felt like I was being watched and that there was some evil energy there. As such, I didn't spend much time there and hurried back to my hotel to rest.

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After hearing about the underwater caves and varied aquatic life of the Hoenn region, I was really looking forward to scuba diving there. Wouldn't you know it, it's not as easy as renting some scuba gear and going diving. Instead, you have to surf out on a pokemon and then dive down with the pokemon. Whenever I tried to ask someone how I would be able to breathe while doing this, they'd just snicker and tell me that I'd figure it out. Well I went out with my whiscash and tried it anyway. On command, the whiscash dove underwater with me hanging on for dear life. What followed was repulsive beyond belief: when I started to worry about air, the whiscash stopped, turned to me, and breathed fishy, mucky air directly into my mouth in a horribly intimate sort of kiss. I just about threw up and drowned on the spot, but kept my wits enough to urgently direct the whiscash back to the surface and then to shore.

Font by Rika Kawamoto

I thought it might be a good idea to take it easy in a less touristy place, so I went to the rural town of Floaroma, which is famous for its flowers. I dropped my luggage off at my hotel and then set off with the intent to relax in the meadow and catch up on reading The Legend of Mew. Unfortunately, the place was swarming with bee pokemon so that you could hardly move for fear of being stung. By the time I did finally find a spot to sit down, my allergies were so bad that I couldn't even see the pages of my book. Still, this was probably my favorite stop so far.

Img Sources: dubaihotellistfoofoo1515,

Rule #1 of traveling: call ahead. All over Unova, I'd seen advertisements and heard hype for the Marine Tube, which connects Undella Town and Humilau City. Well I finally got there and get this - it was closed! There was a man blocking the way who told me that it was closed for cleaning. I tried to tell him that I had traveled a long way and really wanted to go in, but he wouldn't hear it. I even tried sneaking past without success. Of course, the gift shop was still open, so I was able to get this postcard, but I'm definitely going to complain to the manager later.

Hope you're having a better time than I am. I'll be taking a ship out of Castelia the beginning of next week for my return trip, so I hope to see you soon.

Img Sources: greenspecolbrushes,
I just got mugged! I was waiting for my ship to arrive when some ruffian appeared, had his pokemon beat me up, stole all my money, and dumped me in the sewer. I'm in rough shape and I don't know if I'll make it.
I managed to buy this postcard off of a bum living down here by trading him my shoes... but I don't have much strength left to write. The Pokemon Center only treats pokemon, so I don't know where to go.

Please tell everyone I love them. If I don't make it back, you'll know where to find me. 

At least now I can say I've traveled the world...

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