Sunday, February 8, 2015

(Wow!) Butt Crack Kirby Amiibo (Such defect!)

Yeah! It's for sale! (lol) Update: No one bought it! Fine, I'll keep it then!
Double gunned Samus? Legless Peach? Detached and tipped over amiibo in the box? Step aside and make room for the latest, greatest, and most desirable defective amiibo yet: Butt Crack Kirby!

Now shush! I hear your skepticism, but you're making poor Kirby cry. Fear not, for this most alluring fissure of the buttocks is all natural and was there from the moment I first unboxed this historic amiibo. No alterations have been made apart from data written during its use in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U (in which he fights like a champ, by the way).
Furthermore, you may find this Kirby's posterior to be at odds with your understanding of anatomy. However, while you would be correct in believing that most human butt cracks run vertically, to my knowledge Kirby's crack has never been canonically defined. Don't forget that Kirby's digestive system is very different from a human's and one would assume that his excretory system would be similarly different. Therefore it is entirely possible, perhaps even likely, that Kirby's cheeks are split horizontally as represented on this amiibo.

Perhaps you're saying to yourself, "self, I'm pretty sure every Kirby amiibo has a seam across its butt like that." Well, yes, every Kirby amiibo does have a visible seam there, but it is my belief that this one's bottom half protrudes almost two millimeters further than normal!
It even comes with a certificate of authenticity!
I'm sure that all of my "prebuttals" up to this point have been wholly unnecessary and that all you really want to know is how you can get your hands on this most coveted of Kirbys. Don't worry, it is for sale, even though I'm sure that I'll miss it greatly if when it's purchased. Honestly, why would you not want this butt crack Kirby amiibo? It's fully compatible with Super Smash Bros. for Wii U/3DS, Mario Kart 8, Hyrule Warriors, Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, and likely many more games to come.

This is an opportunity that you don't want to miss! Hurry on over to eBay and bid to make sure the world's first Butt Crack Kirby doesn't slip through your fingers! 

(Yep, I'm totally serious right now. Does this look like a face that's joking?)
Wow, I should've retaken this.

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