Monday, November 26, 2012

Firefly: The Game Collection

Quick! Name two cool things! If you said anything other than "video games and Firefly" you didn't choose the best possible answer and, as your teachers will tell you, that's as good as wrong. So what could be better than a Firefly video game? I'll tell you what: a game for each of the main characters. 

Here's how I imagine they'd turn out:

Rim Runner with Malcolm Reynolds
Source game: Escape Velocity Nova
In Mal's game, no one can take the sky from you. You'll captain your own ship and explore the galaxy as you see fit. You're free to hire and dismiss crew members, upgrade your ship, and travel to various planets to take on jobs from disreputable folk. Of course, you'll have to carefully consider what you can afford, how much fuel a trip will require, and how many risks you're willing to take to get the job done. Just make sure you don't get boarded by the Alliance with illegal contraband on board!

Heroes of the Unification War with Zoe Washburne
Experience the Unification War from the perspective of the Independents in this exciting and gritty FPS starring Zoe Washburne. Forget about the glorified violence of Call of Duty; Heroes of the Unification War will show you the horrors of war as well as honor and bravery in the face of certain defeat. War is hell, and this game will make sure you know it. You aren't on the winning side, but that doesn't mean you're on the wrong side.

Wash's Flight Simulator of Awesomeness with Hoban Washburne
Source game: Evochron Mercenary
Designed by Wash himself, Wash's Flight Simulator of Awesomeness realistically recreates the experience of piloting a variety of spacecraft. The gameplay is difficult to learn, but rewarding when mastered. But what really sets this game apart is that you will be sent back to prehistoric times and must navigate the earth while dodging ferocious dinosaurs. Actually, there are dinosaurs in space too, because that sounds like it'd be awesome. And asteroids shaped like Easter Island heads that shoot fireballs! And your ship can transform into a robot and kick enemies in the face!

The Art of Love with Inara Serra
A companion chooses her clients, and so can you in the hot and steamy Art of Love. Sources involved in the development of this game inform me that this is "totally not a porn game" and that it "absolutely has artistic and cultural value". In it, you can court and make love to a wide variety of clients. With the money you earn, you can buy decorations for your shuttle, clothes, and lessons to learn new "moves". But honestly, there's nothing wrong with it. I mean, sure it might be targeted at mature audiences, and yeah, I guess there's some nudity, but there's still like 15% of the game that's not that stuff. So it's definitely not porn. For sure.

The Hero of Canton with Jayne Cobb
Source game: Metal Slug
Violence! Guns! Explosions! In The Hero of Canton, you'll have a huge arsenal at your disposal to decimate your enemies. There doesn't need to be a reason; just run through the levels destroying everything in sight. On the rare occasion that you aren't acting as a one-man army, you'll be free to betray your comrades at your earliest and most profitable convenience and continue on without being hindered. With the money collected from your defeated enemies, you can buy even more weapons. Before long, you'll be a human tank and able to challenge the Alliance or just anyone who looks at you funny.

Reactor Repair with Kaylee Frye
Source game: Cogs
Fixing a space craft's engine isn't easy, but when you're Kaylee it's not so bad. In Reactor Repair you'll be racing to repair engines, reactors, electrical wiring, and more using quick thinking and your knowledge of engineering. Compete with your friends to finish in the most efficient way and see how you rank on online scoreboards. By completing these mechanical puzzles you'll earn money so that you can save up for new machines (some assembly required) and that pretty dress you always wanted. Between stages, you'll also be able to converse with your exciting crew members: a beautiful companion, a cool captain, a handsome doctor, and more!

Operating from the Heart with Dr. Simon Tam
Source game: Trauma Center
As Dr. Simon Tam, you'll be responsible for operating on your injured crew mates as they return from their missions. Treat bullet wounds, laser burns, bone fractures, and even brain damage as you struggle to keep everyone alive. But the game doesn't end there! You'll also be able to build your relationship with Kaylee, the ship's mechanic. It's no secret: she likes you and you like her; but it's up to you to say the right things and not screw it up - a hard task when every conversation choice that comes to mind turns out to be awkward and/or insulting.

Problematic Safari with River Tam
Source game: Viva Pinata
Good day, Mr. Fox. Are you well? How about you, Lady Peacock? Won't you come with me to join our friends down by the river? We'll sing and dance and drink tea and play games all day long! But... what's wrong Lady Peacock? You don't seem well. ... Stop! Don't say that! They'll hear you! No... no... they're already coming! The hands of blue... they'll come and... take it out... put it in a bottle... like lemons squeezed in your eyes and... no... I'll just close my eyes and make it stop. 
Thanks for holding my hand Mr. Fox. I think I'd better just rest for today.

Book with Derrial Book
Source game: Planescape Torment
How does a shepherd have ties with the Alliance? Why does he know so much about the galaxy's underworld and weapons? If you read "Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale" you only know part of the story. The life of Derrial Book could fill a book, which makes it perfectly suited for the format of an RPG. You wanted answers and here they are, ready for you to discover, as you watch Book's dark life unfold and experience it as he did. It's an emotional and exciting tale of redemption that you won't want to miss.

What do you think? Would you have made them differently? Post your ideas in the comments!
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